Paths we walk

While walking along the river bank earlier, a thought occurred to me. Not the first time I have thought about it, but still reflecting again in that moment provided a good analogy.

Just like how the path along the river is meandering, so too does the path we walk in our lives. Our sights are restricted, we can’t see beyond the next bend. The view ahead is revealed as we walk forward.

Most of the times, we don’t know what lies ahead. Just like walking along the river bank, in life too, there are known unknowns & unknown unknowns.

Upon meeting people- Law of Attraction

We choose not randomly each other. We meet only those who already exist in our subconscious. -Sigmund Freud.

Another perspective that I know and believe in is this. ‘Before being born into this world, all the souls reside in the realm of souls. It is there, they take the Covenant. Thereafter, they freely meet other souls. They get along with some and not get along with others.’

It is said that the souls that get along in the realm of souls, if they happen to meet in this world, get on with each other.

When I read the above mentioned quote by Freud, this perspective came to my mind. I have no idea if this can be linked in any way to the subconscious. Some things do not necessarily need rationale.

However, I also think that Freud most likely was thinking through the psychological perspective. 88% of our mind being subconscious, we attract those people towards us, that our subconscious dictates in silence. When I look back and the many faces that I have personally come across, some good, others not so good. I can definitely see a correlation of some sort as to why I came across those people.

It is difficult to change our nature and beliefs that are embedded from a young age. However, we can nurture our subconscious. We can consciously create and replace old neural pathways. Well, if you don’t believe me, there is scientific evidence. The Power of Habit, Atomic Habits, The Chimp Paradox are excellent books that deal and explain it with scientific evidence.

So, why am I writing this? Subconscious mind! The unconscious mind! The conscious mind!

Thinking in relation to what Frued has said, we attract people that exist in our subconscious. Alter your subconscious, and you attract people accordingly. I can say that there is a lot of truth in this. If you believe everyone around you is acting in your favour, it will be so, because you will attract more people that do act in your favour. If you think the world is your enemy, you will come across more ill-intent people.

Why do we learn these lessons the hard way? That’s human nature perhaps 😅

I am grateful to the many people that I have come across. I am also grateful to the ones who were not so good, they taught me to alter my subconscious, to attract more kind and compassionate people towards myself.

5 Things I Learnt From The Book ‘Think Again’

If you aren’t interested in the title of the book Think Again. You might want to reconsider and duh Think Again!

Or realistically speaking at least check out the last chapter, ‘Actions for impact’ and, then listen to the prologue. It will just make you want to listen or read the whole book. I am just saying this for those who might not be interested in this book. Personally, I am a big fan of Adam Grant’s work. I won’t say that I know all of his work but some of it has helped me think and think again, and that doesn’t just go for this book.

So, here’s the 5 Things I think I got out from the book.

1. Instead of asking why? Question yourself how?

The Why can more often than not, make you fall into a deep rabbit hole and instead of seeking out new ways to do things. You deepen your reasons for your beliefs and embed them in your subconscious.

2. Out of the box thinking is difficult because it exposes you and sheds your identity. Refer to the firefighter example mentioned in the epilogue.

3. To persuade others, it’s better to ask rational questions that help see the situation through different lenses and big picture views than piling up the facts alone. Lesson from the 8 year old in Think Again.

4. Less is more! It’s better to have 3 days of solid work out routine rather than 7 days of sub par days. It’s better to have 3 focused hours of deliberate practise than 7 hours of gruelling underperformance.

5. Coaching involves helping others reach their own decisions, it’s not about trying to dictate or control other person’s decisions. Great mentors, coaches and motivational speakers are better listeners. They know how to listen and respond with appropriate questions. They guide others by empowering them with knowledge, self-discovery and helping others reach their own conclusions rather than providing them with answers or suggesting what they ought to do.

There’s much more in this book. In this moment however, these 5 ideas can help me ask the right questions of myself and those around me, in order to improve and overcome fear and anxiety. 

Image: Bookcover Think Again