Upon meeting people- Law of Attraction

We choose not randomly each other. We meet only those who already exist in our subconscious. -Sigmund Freud.

Another perspective that I know and believe in is this. ‘Before being born into this world, all the souls reside in the realm of souls. It is there, they take the Covenant. Thereafter, they freely meet other souls. They get along with some and not get along with others.’

It is said that the souls that get along in the realm of souls, if they happen to meet in this world, get on with each other.

When I read the above mentioned quote by Freud, this perspective came to my mind. I have no idea if this can be linked in any way to the subconscious. Some things do not necessarily need rationale.

However, I also think that Freud most likely was thinking through the psychological perspective. 88% of our mind being subconscious, we attract those people towards us, that our subconscious dictates in silence. When I look back and the many faces that I have personally come across, some good, others not so good. I can definitely see a correlation of some sort as to why I came across those people.

It is difficult to change our nature and beliefs that are embedded from a young age. However, we can nurture our subconscious. We can consciously create and replace old neural pathways. Well, if you don’t believe me, there is scientific evidence. The Power of Habit, Atomic Habits, The Chimp Paradox are excellent books that deal and explain it with scientific evidence.

So, why am I writing this? Subconscious mind! The unconscious mind! The conscious mind!

Thinking in relation to what Frued has said, we attract people that exist in our subconscious. Alter your subconscious, and you attract people accordingly. I can say that there is a lot of truth in this. If you believe everyone around you is acting in your favour, it will be so, because you will attract more people that do act in your favour. If you think the world is your enemy, you will come across more ill-intent people.

Why do we learn these lessons the hard way? That’s human nature perhaps 😅

I am grateful to the many people that I have come across. I am also grateful to the ones who were not so good, they taught me to alter my subconscious, to attract more kind and compassionate people towards myself.

Manifestation, Choices

In my last post Fragility, I discussed some of the cause-effect issues that surround human behaviour by presenting simple example of what I have experienced. You know what they say, little knowledge is dangerous. To some it is not a big deal, but to me how I write and what I mean by it and how it is interpreted matters. Cause-effect relationships occur from macro to micro. To us humans, it may be correct to say that we may experience them and observe them, however, we/the object/the element/compound are not the source of causation. This is a theological issue and perhaps I came across it to realise what mistakes I made. And perhaps not just realising the mistake of using incorrect words, the idea and its understanding, philosophy behind it. Even though I may have known and accepted the understanding intuitively. Reminders are a great way to delve deeper into difficult issues, knowledge that is not mainstream anymore. In my search for seeking answers, I came across a new series of lectures which explained the idea to me in the way that it made sense to me. What we see as cause and effect in this universe is simply manifestation of the decree. The pen has been put down and ink dried.

Of course, my love for writing and continuing these posts of self-reflection and idea sharing, hasn’t come to an end with the last post. That said, after writing it those few days of stumble perhaps lingered on for a bit longer. However, I have also stumbled into a lot of good in the meanwhile, things that are waiting so that I can explore them.

In this post, what I want to talk about is something simple. I want to clarify first that I am not an expert in the field of psychology. The little knowledge that I have, has been gained through reading some books, listening to some lectures, and most of all living through experiences the good ones, the bad ones; reflecting upon those moments and trying to understand my thoughts, behaviours and emotions. I will keep this super simple and would like to explain just a few concepts that might help some people who may read this. Firstly, I want to talk about fixed vs growth mindset. I want to talk about nature vs nurture. I want to touch upon the tools that if you use them too, will provide you with important life lessons from your own experiences.

Fixed mindset individuals carry this belief that their intelligence, creativity, personality traits are unchangeable and hence static. They carry this belief that our life’s successes and failures are dependent upon these inherent values, traits, and qualities. Growth mindset on the other hand, promotes the notion that failures and challenges in life are a means of growth in personal lives and professional careers. It simply makes more sense to me, as we constantly learn from our mistakes, even if we do make some mistakes over and over. In the study of CBT- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, research has deduced that cognitions(thoughts), emotions and behaviours are inter-linked. Hence to change our patterns of behaviours, we can work by changing our patterns of thoughts. In doing so, the emotions we feel will change too. This requires deliberate practice, and change may come easy to some and delayed to others. The idea here is that, change requires small progressive steps, requires a foundation of habits. This is why habit stacking is extremely important. This should be taught in schools at an early age so that these principles are well understood. I definitely wished I had known the little I know now when I was younger haha.

Nature vs Nurture. The way I understand nature is through the Arabic word فطرة. In my understanding, all humans are born upon pure nature. As we grow our environment and surroundings nurture this nature. At an early age, some qualities stand out more so than others. All of this is manifestation too. Our characters are proportioned out. However, nurture is the ability that if constantly utilised, results in gradual improvement of human nature or perhaps gradual destruction, depending whether you’re walking the path of light or of darkness. It’s obviously understood that a murderer after each murder only becomes more numb. The evil act becomes easier to carry out each turn. Similarly, if we project our nature towards good, nurturing the good qualities and traits with repeated habits, actions, and processes.

So, what are the tools that can help you in achieving a growth mindset and shift away from having a fixed one?

1- Acknowledging and affirming that you have a growth mindset. Realising that failure can be overcome, setbacks perhaps are a blessing in disguise. 2- Each time you fail, ask yourself, was there a lesson to be learnt? 3- Not dwelling in the past, living in the present and working to build a better future.

What tools can help you nurture a good nature? One is obvious that you all already have. Life experiences! We all have different life experiences, so we may all learn something different from reflecting on unique experiences that we have had. Keeping in mind at the same time, out of the 7 billion people alive and many that have lived before, they have also most likely been through similar experiences. We are unique and at the same time tied to a bigger picture. Reflecting on your experiences, not ruminating, not dwelling in the past, just reflecting! Squeezing life lessons and carrying them forwards to new experiences. This is one way of nurturing a good nature.

I will end this here. Share it with others if this helped you in some way.

Until next time…. Ciao

What to do? When there’s nothing to do!

Covid-19 has resulted in a dramatic and unprecedented fall in productivity globally. Many people have lost loved ones, there’s an ongoing healthcare crisis with growing pressure with every rising Covid-19 case.

This has further brought the economy to a sudden stop. Many people are worried about financial security, many people have lost their jobs.

In these times of crisis, we have to rise above solo concerns and do whatever we can to help alleviate suffering. This brings the question, what to do? When there is nothing to do!

Many charities require volunteers, healthcare facilities require volunteers. If you are fit & healthy with no underlying health concerns, then this is the time to show and be the best version of yourself.

This is the time when communities need leaders to rise. There are many other ways to help them too. If you are financially secure, then go out of your way to donate to charities and organisations that are helping and fighting on the frontline.

Our true characters emerge in times of adversity, how we respond, our actions, our contributions. We have seen the good side of the communities emerge, go out of their ways to provide free support of all sorts. Psychological, social, emotional, financial, healthcare, educational.

I attended one of the most enlightening webinars earlier in the morning. It was so informative and educational that I had to leave after 2 hours of attending it. My brain was literally overloaded with information that I needed to digest what I had heard, and couldn’t take in more.

This again brings the question, what to do, when there’s nothing to do!

Be proactive; exercise, learn more, read more, pray more, meditate more. Spread goodness not germs. Take extra precautions; sanitize, disinfect, strengthen your immune system, eat healthy. Prevention is better than cure. Stay Home, Save lives. The quicker this epidemic passes, if we all follow quarantine and social distancing measures, the quicker we can get back to our usual routines or perhaps a new normal.

I am not a medical expert but from the information that I have gathered, everyone knows that a vaccine is crucial to stop the spread. There is so much medical research being put out there which is beyond my understanding. So I leave that to the experts.

This once more brings the question, What to do ? When there’s nothing to do!

Leave the medical research and vaccine development in the hands of capable experts. Worry less, do more. In the UK, we are lucky to have government response and measures which include a stimulus package for many people. Employees, self-employed, companies & businesses. There are still many that the government can’t reach.

So, What to do ? When there’s nothing to do!

In this time of crisis, there’s a lot of stuff that we must stop doing too. Stop arguing, stop domestic abuse, stop talking to your parents harshly, stop raising your voices, stop spreading germs. Find some solace in silence and solitude. Meditate more, be less annoying, be less irritating. Instead, be more cooperative, be more humble, be more generous, be more considerate. Most of all be more self-aware.

Once more, ask yourself this question, “What to do? When there’s nothing to do!”

Assess and evaluate yourself. Cleanse yourself, cleanse yourself of hatred, envy and being a thorn for others. As Rumi said, “Stop being a thorn in the path of others. Be a flower, that releases it fragrance even when crushed.” Purify your soul and hearts, spread love not germs.

I ask myself this question once more, “What to do? When there’s nothing to do!”

Focus on each day, take small steps, even baby steps, crawl if you can’t walk because remember we are confined to our homes! That’s a little joke. I can’t help but be a little cheeky at times 😅🙏 But you get the idea, crawl before you learn to walk, walk before you can run, and run before you become a BIRD and can fly without wings! (Forgive my silly humour)

What I have really done by answering this question several times is, brought to my attention, and hopefully people who read this, what we ought to be paying attention towards. Remember the things where your attention and focus lie, grow. So be mindful of what you pay attention to!

One last message: fast from luxury, abstain from luxury, we should only be focussed on fulfilling necessities and essentials, especially in these times

Until next time,

And Stop Spreading Those Germs!