Learning and Planning

Planning ahead….due to sudden shifts, new phase of life had begun. Planning ahead… not really! Just going with the flow. I know that I cannot control time and most things are outside my control.

However, despite that I can still plan ahead in small ways. Looking forward to starting new adventures. It may take me some time to get there but that’s what I am planning for. Riding motorbikes for me is thrilling and adventurous. So, the first adventure that I am planning on is setting out on a motorbike tour.

Why am I sharing it? When I  am not even close to it yet? Do I believe in law of attraction? Write down your goals and recite them before sleeping each night and as you wake up every morning. They shall soon come to pass!

Not really!

I do know that goals written down have much more meaning and for some reason I am a little more determined to fulfill them.

Just like my endless thirst for seeking out knowledge. I write down goals and work towards them. But let me tell you, I have encountered more failures so far than successes. You may wonder what those might be, as an example, learning languages for me is exciting, stimulating and fun. Yet, I am still a beginner after many years spending time to learn German, Persian and Arabic. The truth is my effort has never been deliberate and focused enough to learn one of them and get good at it. Yet I am fascinated by people when I hear different languages. If I could fluently speak in a different language, the conversations could help me explore different cultures and ideas too.

There are so many things that I would like to learn but if prioritise them appropriately, the skills and knowledge gained will be of future benefit both in building career and life. My current focus is building on these valuable skills while keeping up with other hobbies at a minimum to remain consistent and not losing those skills. 5 mins of German a day, 5 mins of Arabic a day. Persian??? I will go back to it when I start reading Rumi and Iqbal again.

I have been neglecting the practice of martial arts. I have been hiking a lot lately, but not enough exercise and sweat doing that on its own. Yesterday, I ran, the plan was to jog 4 miles. I only managed to jog 2 miles, and even that alternating between jogging and walking each mile. It’s easy to lose skills too if they are not kept honed. Martial arts may be one example, excel or a programming language maybe another.

The point is, it is important to make time to sharpen one’s skills and keep up with them. Martial arts and teaching it is part of that planning ahead. So, while I wait on things to materialise, I got to keep practising so my movements remain fluent.

I have never walked a linear path. If I were a molecule in a beaker full of liquid. The brownian motion would pretty much describe my path so far, despite such haphazard path, I am still contained in a beaker so I am able to maintain my goals in sight. Maybe not the best way to describe it but this is how I have been able to keep sight of my goals. If I were to lose myself in an ocean, I might just lose myself. The ocean is vast, full of sharks and creatures of the deep sea. Navigating through all of that might be even tougher, but I believe planning, practice, and sticking to my game plan will be crucial when it’s finally time to immerse my being in the depths of oceans.

I am going to stop the rambling now, it’s been a a whole month since I last wrote anything on here. It feels even longer. It’s not that I don’t enjoy writing, I just have to get better at managing my time. This weekend it has all been about creating a routine that will help me be more productive and writing it down so I can start following it.

Upon meeting people- Law of Attraction

We choose not randomly each other. We meet only those who already exist in our subconscious. -Sigmund Freud.

Another perspective that I know and believe in is this. ‘Before being born into this world, all the souls reside in the realm of souls. It is there, they take the Covenant. Thereafter, they freely meet other souls. They get along with some and not get along with others.’

It is said that the souls that get along in the realm of souls, if they happen to meet in this world, get on with each other.

When I read the above mentioned quote by Freud, this perspective came to my mind. I have no idea if this can be linked in any way to the subconscious. Some things do not necessarily need rationale.

However, I also think that Freud most likely was thinking through the psychological perspective. 88% of our mind being subconscious, we attract those people towards us, that our subconscious dictates in silence. When I look back and the many faces that I have personally come across, some good, others not so good. I can definitely see a correlation of some sort as to why I came across those people.

It is difficult to change our nature and beliefs that are embedded from a young age. However, we can nurture our subconscious. We can consciously create and replace old neural pathways. Well, if you don’t believe me, there is scientific evidence. The Power of Habit, Atomic Habits, The Chimp Paradox are excellent books that deal and explain it with scientific evidence.

So, why am I writing this? Subconscious mind! The unconscious mind! The conscious mind!

Thinking in relation to what Frued has said, we attract people that exist in our subconscious. Alter your subconscious, and you attract people accordingly. I can say that there is a lot of truth in this. If you believe everyone around you is acting in your favour, it will be so, because you will attract more people that do act in your favour. If you think the world is your enemy, you will come across more ill-intent people.

Why do we learn these lessons the hard way? That’s human nature perhaps 😅

I am grateful to the many people that I have come across. I am also grateful to the ones who were not so good, they taught me to alter my subconscious, to attract more kind and compassionate people towards myself.

Thoughts about running! A Timely Story

I have been running ever since I was present. My essence is running itself. I don’t wait for anyone. I run away from anything and everything. Please don’t try to stop me, because I won’t.

What am I running towards? I long for unity. I long to enter the limitless and eternal realm, where I won’t matter anymore. No one would have to be concerned about me. I guess that’s partly the reason, in fact the main reason why I keep running. Everyone I came across, so many, all the faces I have met, have been worried sick about me. It will be the same or probably get worse as I move along and see more faces. They worry themselves to old age, grey hair and yet, I am still running away from it all.

I wish I could stop to console those who worry. It’s not in my nature to look back. I am always looking ahead. I have quite the positive outlook if you were to think of me as someone always looking for the sun to rise. Will I stop when this world comes to end? I am not sure! I may slow down to catch a breath. For now, all I know is that I have to keep running.

Like that kid who’s always been running away from everything his whole life. Looking for an escape, longing for it. I have been watching him his entire existence. In the rear view mirror of course! I can’t look back. I wanted to stop and console him but there’s no helping it. I have seen him grow up. I don’t know what lies ahead for him. If I could give him some advice, I wonder what would I tell him? What thoughts? What words will soothe him? I don’t know! Is it really advice that he is looking for? Is it else that he is seeking? Does he know that, what he seeks, is also looking to find him? An old poet said this. Rumi was it? So many have been lost in me that I forget most. Few I remember well. It’s because their names are spoken of again and again. It’s like they are trying to yell at me, “Hey look, even though you have been running away from me for my whole existence, I am still able to keep up the pace with you.” It’s those that beat me to my destiny even before I could get there myself. And did I tell you that, I have been running ever since I was present? How can they transcend me? Am I not their equal? What am I to them? Am I just a perception to them? Yes, that’s it. I am a mere perception because those are also the ones, who are not concerned about me. They grow old too, but they don’t worry about me. So many try race against me, but I beat them all. I am the fastest runner, the best at running. At least this is what I think. There maybe someone else faster than me. In fact, there could be many. No wonder, why I change too. Am I running away or chasing after my destiny? It’s been so long that even sometimes, I forget. I need reminders too. In different places, I am perceived differently. Just like that kid who has been running away his whole life. Sometimes he reminds me of myself. He maybe just one, but almost everyone I have looked back at in the mirror, try to keep up with appearances. There is something else about him. It’s because he tries so hard to not care, and not care about what others think, but even then, people are just presumptuous. That’s how it is! He doesn’t care whether his name’s up in the lights or known to no one. Or does he? Maybe now, it’s I, who is assuming it. I wish I could stop to ask him but I can only look back at him. He looks forward to me because he is trying to find an escape. What is he trying to escape from? I wish I could tell you because I have seen it all, in the rear view mirror of course! Some things are better left unsaid. I do not reveal secrets, it’s up to him. He found people that he was able to confide in. He found people that he put his trust in. Were it them he was looking for? Did he get his escape afterwards? He is still looking for an escape. Sometimes it overwhelms him. He wakes up in the middle of the night with thoughts zooming in and out. He pours them all out, writing. Trust? Isn’t that what he always struggled with? Hmm. Now I know exactly what to tell him. I would tell him to trust me. Because I only look forwards, if he were to trust me, he will find his escape. But that seems wrong. His beliefs are different. We share the same beliefs but, perhaps I am not saying it in the right way. What he must trust is the divine will that is leading him forwards and nurturing him. Like it is leading me forwards. You see, I like to advise people in the way it is easy to understand. However, because we share the same beliefs, it’s easy to find words for him.

What about someone else? Someone who doesn’t share my beliefs? Someone who perhaps, has been consumed by nihilism? Or someone who has been consumed by consumption itself? Or someone who chases after fantasies, or someone looking to find a purpose in others?

What would I tell them? What is their purpose? Do I even know it? Perhaps they are also the ones not worried or concerned about me. They live life to the fullest or at least they try and aim to. To them this is it. This is all of their existence. The morals and the idea of wrong and right, significantly changes, living with those beliefs. But I guess, they find their purpose in perpetuity, thinking this world would go on forever. That’s to align their good morals. They think that I won’t stop running. I might not but perhaps, I will be perceived differently. What about those who don’t have a moral compass? I don’t know, I guess this is too much to listen to. I could try capture all thoughts as I run but, you see, running feels great when you lose yourself in it. I run and take in the views serenely. Running is meditation to me. I have a rhythm. I change in different places but that’s also part of my rhythm. That’s another thing perhaps, I would remind that kid about. I know he writes and focuses on rhythm a lot. Meditating and practising martial arts and all. He perhaps, hasn’t found his escape because he hasn’t found his rhythm.

I am glad that he is thinking about me and I in return, am able to offer him some of my thoughts. He writes it all down at the break of dawn. Waking up to find serenity but his thoughts were everywhere. So, he picked up his phone and started thinking and typing. I like how this conversation took place quietly. I didn’t have to utter a word because I am busy running. He is there trying to grab onto my thoughts I leave behind. I wish him a Good Morning! And remind him once more, “Remember, trust and rhythm. Trusting the rhythm of the entire existence.”