Still Searching

Standing in front of the mirror, in search of a different me. How is it that I can see myself, but cannot see my thoughts. The very thoughts that remain buried in the depths, it’s a struggle to scream them out! In the mirror, I see many faults. I see some good in me too.
Standing at the door, I step outside in search of a different me. How is it that I feel caged inside the four walls, but cannot escape those thoughts. The very thoughts that remain buried in the depths, it’s a struggle to scream them out! Standing at the door, I see the cage I am in, I see open scenery in front of me too.
Standing on the road, I start to walk in search of a different me. How is it that I walk with no destination in sight. I hear a call, “To Me you belong, To Me you shall return.”

Sometimes I write to release stress but also, to see what I have written as I read it back because in that moment, I am able to connect the ideas and writing with my thought patterns, my weaknesses, and see where I can influence a change. These spontaneous yet, linked thoughts help me a tiny bit to see things in myself that a mirror doesn’t show me. Writing is a form of therapy for me. Better written out than buried in my head. It doesn’t matter how it sounds so long as it helps.

Beyond Stars [Wings of Gabriel]

ستاروں سے آگے جہاں اور بھی ہیں
ابھی عشق کے امتحاں اوربھی ہیں
Sitaron Se Agay Jahan Aur Bhi Hain
Abhi Ishq Ke Imtihan Aur Bhi Hain
[Beyond stars, there are other worlds to behold, Many struggles lie ahead in the path of love!]
تہی زندگی سے نہیں یہ فضائیں
یہاں سینکڑوں کارواں اور بھی ہیں
Thi Zindagi Se Nahin Ye Fazaen
Yahan Saikron Karwaan Aur Bhi Hain
[These winds do not lack life. Hundreds of other caravans are here!]
قناعت نہ کر عالمِ رنگ و بو پر
چمن اور بھی آشیاں اور بھی ہیں
Qana’at Na Kar Alam-e-Rang-o-Bu Par
Chaman Aur Bhi Ashiyan Aur Bhi Hain
[Do not be content with the world of hues and fragrance. Other gardens there are, other nests, too!]
اگر کھو گیا اک نشیمن تو کیا غم
مقاماتِ آہ و فغاں اور بھی ہیں
Agar Kho Gya Ek Nasheeman To Kya Gham
Maqamat-e-Aah-o-Faghan Aur Bhi Hain
[Why be sad upon losing a single aerie? There are other places to lament and sigh!]
تُو شاہیں ہے، پرواز ہے کام تیرا
تیرے سامنے آسماں اور بھی ہیں
Tu Shaheen Hai, Parwaz Hai Kaam Tera
Tere Samne Asmaan Aur Bhi Hain
[You are a shaheen, soaring high is your specialty. Heavens stretch out before you!]
اسی روزوشب میں آُلجھ کر نہ رہ جا
کہ تیرے زماں و مکاں اور بھی ہیں
Issi Roz-o-Shab Mein Ulajh Kar Na Reh Ja
Ke Tere Zaman-o-Makan Aur Bhi Hain
[Do not get caught in today’s and tonight’s tangling. There are times and places ahead of you!]
گۓ دن کہ تنہا تھا میں انجمن میں
یہاں اب میرے رازداں اور بھی ہیں
Gaye Din Ke Tanha Tha Main Anjuman Mein
Yahan Ab Mere Raazdaan Aur Bhi Hain
[Those days are no more, when I was a lone star. Many here are my confidants now!]

This is a poem by one of the most famous poets after Rumi, in the East. Allama Iqbal a philosopher and a poet. This is an excerpt from Baal-e-Jibril (Wings of Gabriel). Shaheen is a subspecie of Eagle family. It’s native to the Indian Subcontinent, China, Burma and Srilanka. Shaheen is unique because it can fly upto a speed of 200 mph. Shaheen makes it nests in high elevations. Here, Iqbal presents Shaheen as a metaphor to latent human potential.

I thought of reading and translating this poem because I haven’t posted anything for over a month. This poem serves me a reminder to not get caught up in daily trappings. It reminds us to not get complacent, not lament over lost things. There is much more life will offer, so long as you embrace the blessings and be grateful.

If you want to read more motivational poems like this. Share and comment. Perhaps next time, I will pick one of his famous Persian poem. 👇

A collection of Iqbal’s Farsi poetry

A conversation with the Speechless Boy! A disability story

“Good Morning Noor!” I try say it with a burst of energy, putting in warmth with every word uttered. Noor lays there in his bed snoring. Sleeping like a baby on his side. He is positioned to sleep every night. I will leave the other details of his routine for another time. Today, I wanted to talk about how he can whisper, if you focus and listen. If you pay a little attention, he tells you how he feels.

“Stay by my side.” He tells me. Hold my hand, when I cry. It soothes me. He reminds me that because he doesn’t have the capacity to think, he feels everything. A kind and gentle touch is what he seeks and loves the most.

I ask him why is it that not all touches are gentle. He tells me, “It’s not that they are not. It’s just the part of their job. Routine and time keeping often takes up their attention. But you, you are here to help slow things down and be gentle.” I chuckle when he says that. “Hmm… I wonder, so if I can slow down the routine work a little, do you mean I can inject some gentleness and kindness into it all.”

“That’s exactly right,” he says. He continues, “A little slow and steady, although I will tell you that people looking after me have the warmest heart and are most experienced. They have known me for a long time. So they also understand the nuances and expressions I convey, that much more.” He chuckles again and adds, “Yes, that’s right, they know when I am being a cry baby and throwing a tantrum.”

“That makes sense!” I tell him. “I read through your file and case to understand your needs better.”

He smiles when I tell him that. It’s a lot of effort and work to look after you, ain’t that right! He beams upon hearing me say this. I take a deep breath then centre my thoughts, so our conversation doesn’t distract us from looking after him.

He is a big star wars fan. He loves marvel and has watched every movie. In the movies, he tells me,”I fall asleep and then I am in the movie. I dream the movie, that’s how I watch them.”

“Wow, you must have the best dreams. You are really imaginative and creative.” I tell him. I then tell him about some of my experiences where I have dreamt the storybooks, audiobooks and podcasts. He is joyed to hear it and happy that he shares the similar experiences.

“You sure do, but you’re much more creative. It must be similar to watching anime.” As I tell him this, I realise that he has fallen asleep. Perhaps dreaming another movie and bringing our conversation to a close.