Denied or Denial

Why did I even come up with this name for the blog? This was a couple months back. To be precise I wrote the title of the blog per my drafts on 15th October 2020. What did I want to write then? I can’t really recall lol

But what can I write about this topic now? In this moment, when thinking of these words the first image that comes to mind is that of a judge. A judge listens to both sides of an argument of the party in question and draws conclusion by how well their arguments are presented. The party who may willingly/ unwillingly plead guilty thinks they are denied, hence sometimes they can also be in denial. Perhaps denying the truth or perhaps refuting the lies, maybe denied blessings, hopes and opportunities. Maybe denied hardships and trials that they cannot see unfolding. There is only one True Judge. The True Judge must be just beyond all comprehension. The one that brings all to light. The hidden and manifest, the seen and unseen. What is spoken of and what is kept secret.

Why did I write, “Denied or Denial ” as the title of the blog? Was I thinking about worldly life? Or was I thinking of spirituality? If I were to think from the perspective of spirituality, and the word denied- it is a blessing. Deny what the ego wants. There is a famous saying that comes to mind, a spiritual person is grateful for all the blessings the ones received and the ones denied. The human intellect and wisdom draws on past and present and projects onto the future. However, that wisdom and intellect doesn’t know what lies in the future. The wisdom and intellect of a spiritual person has to put all trust, hope and fear to the higher power. To God!

Denial in regards to spirituality in my thought and little knowledge that I hold embodies the lower ego. The id as classified by Freud. Or perhaps the unconscious mind and the shadow self as classified by Jung. The 2 ideas are powerful and as Jung says, if you don’t make what is unconscious conscious, it will dictate your life and you will call it fate. The id and the lower self is a force within the human mind, body and soul that entraps a person in a cycle of unconscious behaviours.

There is much more I can write on this… on and on but at the same time, I think that because what I know is very little, writing perhaps helps me explore the unknown, writing helps me gain wisdom and insights from the lens and pen I hold. It grants me wisdom the way my mind works and thinks. However, reading and listening is what truly opens the door to ideas, possibilities, different perspectives, different ways of seeing things.

Something that just came to my mind, the water that flows can create a path forwards. Even if it meanders to get there.

Why do I say this? In the context of denied and denial; whether looking at it from the perspective of a judge or the parties in question involved or, looking at it through the lens of spirituality. Staleness is what stunts our growth. Stale water eventually becomes a life source for micro organisms, algae and fungi. A person who does not want to grow and lives in denial- can be likened to that stale water. The mind of the person becomes a source and force for denial. Denial in the context of the idea of judge, and denial in the context of id and the shadow self.

Chasing dreams

There is a lot of things I can talk about, when talking about fulfilling one’s dreams. The way I have always approached this, even before I began reading all psychology books, self-help books and talks; is through focusing on short-term goals and having the bigger dream etched in your subconscious. This then helps you be flexible no matter how meandering the path you tread upon is, there is always a centre to gravitate back to. When I say meandering, I don’t necessarily mean getting knocked down or falling in pits, I also mean, always seeking alternatives, being flexible and not fixated on a single path that will lead to that eventual success in the future.

When I was in school and college, I wanted to be an engineer and a pilot. Lol I am far from that path. I am not going to delve into my current path in this moment because I am enjoying the pursuit. However, this is what I will tell you, it has helped me overcome so many of my struggles and has helped instil good habits. It is a combination of good habits, processes and improving every day. I will keep following it as long as there is more room for improvement, which I see no end to 😉. For those of you who know me and are well acquainted know that I can sometimes be too stubborn, doing things on my own. Sure, things can be hard, you get steam rolled many times. That is the whole point, right? Grit, determination, and persistence. Along the road to achieve great things, your character is tested, moulded, and strengthened. You connect with strangers who have the potential to be lifelong friends, coaches, mentors, peers, and people who push you to be your best. You come across strangers who for no apparent reason will show hate- that is because they do not have the ability to either dream or the courage to pursue. They will always have excuses or negativity to discourage and derail you from your path. This is also part of the journey that tests your persistence and character. Your mission is to stay focussed and keep getting back up when knocked down.

It is how you choose to respond to different situations.

There is a false belief held by many people that, successful people are born rich, or they come from privileged backgrounds. They falsely measure success by money, material possessions such as cars and clothing and other indulgences of lavish and luxurious lifestyles.

Furthermore, those who become successful and get rich too, are demonized by those that are not. The class system is like a prison for the minds of the masses. Obviously, there is a whole area of inequality and equal opportunities to address here but right now, I want to talk about reasons why a lot of rich and successful folks should not be demonized. I was writing about this some weeks back but cannot seem to remember where lol.

What most people see is the tip of the iceberg. The peak! They do not see the failures, rejections, broke nights, fear, grit, courage. Either they have a false sense of success and they do not know how to measure it, or they are just hesitant to uncover their own potential and love to stay in their comfort zones. I feel that this deserves more explanation, but I may do the injustice of demonising other parties in the discussion if I go on about it. Personally, I look at individuals and do my best to not be prejudiced. I do not look at what group they are standing behind, what flag are they flying. Those attributes of an individual are pretty irrelevant to me until they prove it so through their tongues and hearts. Even then, perhaps because I believe in mercy and forgiveness more, I always encourage the art of thoughtful disagreement and negotiations instead of divisive actions that can escalate quickly. One such example is what is happening around the world currently. Protests turning into riots. The proponents of protests will say that our cause and agenda was peace, but they must assess the likelihood of mob mentality, individuals and groups that will take the opportune moment for vandalism. Many might not agree and back other evidence that may show that outsiders masquerading are responsible in reality for the riots and damage caused. Heck! I don’t even know why I am talking about this. Perhaps, because I recently read the book on the mind of the crowd. What influences them, what controls them, how they can be a good force and how easy it is to turn the situation into anarchy and chaos. Yeah, I know I said that I will talk about the mind of the crowd in a new blogpost, but that is such a lengthy topic. The blog will get all political because the book is based on revolutionary events and wars that have shaped our world. It discusses other historical events and how leaders emerge and qualities they possess. It is a great read for anyone who is a leader of a country, group, or community. Personally, for me, it is good knowledge to be able to maintain my individuality and not get caught up with the distractions that will divert me away from my personal dreams and goals. If you are interested the book is written by a French Psychologist Gustave Le Bon, I have two of his books. One titled, ‘The Crowd: The Study of the Popular mind’ and the other one which I still have not read despite owning it for nearly a decade, ‘Psychology of Revolution’ but I can assure you both books are rich and very thought provoking.

Sweet dreams are made of this…. who am I to disagree? I travel the world and seven seas; everybody is looking for something… this song just popped in my head while writing this ha-ha

I am planning to finish writing this and the other post that has been laying in my drafts, almost complete.

Being spontaneous sometimes, I cannot explain things the best way, because I am not really researching this particular topic just writing from what I have learnt from life experiences thus far. In one of my previous posts I mentioned that words are powerful, yes sure they are. However, when words are negatively impacting, all you need is a thick skin to deal with them thick skulls, the right kind of thick skills that you need to deal with thick sick folks. You see what I done there lol  

Ok, let’s get back to talking about chasing dreams, there’s many lessons that I can share from personal experiences, not all seem relevant to me right now but what I will share is that, learn from other people’s mistakes and experiences because if you don’t you will be learning the hard way by making all those mistakes yourself. Trial and error approach can be a good thing, it is not for everyone though because if you cannot recover from failures, you will keep falling into chaos. If you are set to learn from your mistakes, you best develop skills to coach yourself, be coach-able by listening to experts, reaching out for help, and accepting help. Synthesizing information. My belief is that knowledge increases when shared, knowledge is an asset unlike any other, if you are stripped away from all worldly possessions, you still possess your knowledge so long as you keep strong mentally. What differentiates those who reach their potential and those who do not with all great ideas is the ability to implement. A human thought! Is it really unique? We all share some connection and there are over 7 billion people in the world and many a generation that have lived on this planet before us. So, think about that again? Is your thought really unique to you? What is unique however, is the ability to act upon them.

Over the years, what I have realised is that it sometimes feels as if you cannot remember anything, all learnt knowledge has been lost. It is very easy to retrieve and access blurred information and memories if you apply the right methods in doing so. That is a whole different area where I may possess some practical skills, but my understanding and knowledge is not sufficient to even try explaining how that happens. How are those neurons wired? How do they get rewired? How do you connect old pathways again? What is the link between different compartments of the brain? Short-term memory (RAM) long-term memory (hard drive), then there are different methods like being able to recall through picturing and imagining. I don’t have a clue how to explain this but what I know about myself is this, my auditory memory is better, I absorb more information and understand better when I listen, I learn by doing, learning theory is good but application-less knowledge is easiest to forget.  Then for some other things I have a photographic memory, it is not the best photographic memory because perhaps I realised at a much older age that I have one. So, I am working on it slowly to improve it again. Neuroplasticity or what I refer to it in simple terms how malleable is your brain? Malleable materials can be hammered into sheets, ductile are used to make rods and wires. That is where I get this word from, it may save you a google search if you have never studied physics. I have never studied biology. I used to hate rote memorisation when I was younger. Even though I had a really good memory, it is just that at that age I did not know which methods worked better for me. I have always understood concepts better. I had some teachers who saw that in me.

Anyway my main point and why I am sharing this is so you can work out for yourself, no matter at which stage in life you are, what your age is, find out how your brain works, how you learn best, this information is crucial if you want to go after your dreams, it will help shorten learning curves by uncovering your potential and lighting things up for you that make the most sense to you.

I do not even know how much of all that I have written makes sense right now Ha-ha, I have been just jumping around trying to connect dots in my head.

Anyhow I have gone on long enough I reckon, I have to get back at chasing my dreams, currently that will be watching a particular video because it explained stuff in detail and at an advanced level that can help me get to that next stage. That said, remember you can get better every day. 1% improvement, marginal gains, compound on good habits and good processes.  I don’t talk about all my endeavours because that’s probably my introverted side, soon perhaps I will share it or maybe I won’t at all, because I want to blog about stuff, other than those endeavours because If I mix up everything then I won’t be able to find a niche that I am looking for in my writing outside of those endeavours, and probably blur the line between two different passions that I lose the spark in one of them. I do not want to eat, sleep and drink on a single passion alone ha-ha. I think that is what I am trying to say here.  This is why I mostly relate it to martial arts because that is what truly helped me understand first principles and power of synthesizing information and knowledge. A period of different growth started then. A journey within….

You must find balance within yourself before you set out to bring balance to the world.

This ☝️being the reason why I am extra wary of mob mentality, groupthink, social conformity, and trend following. Basically, anything that can turn you into a sheep. You do not want to lose your uniqueness and individuality on your path to achieving greatness, rather embrace it, accept it. Proactively building on your strengths and eliminating weaknesses. When I say eliminate, I do not necessarily mean cut out completely because that is impossible because we are humans, fallible and make mistakes continually. There are many methods- minimising, being systematic and setting rules, following a principles-based approach, leveraging- getting help from good people in areas where you are weak, triangulating with believable others.

I was supposed to stop writing lol because I still got to edit this blog. Remember to share this if it helps you, not for my sake but to help others whom you would like to help and benefit. Obviously if you find it helpful yourself ha-ha because I know a lot of people reading this will know a lot of this already.

If my mumbo jumbo made sense in this blog, leave a comment ha-ha. In the coming blog, I might pick few key words and concepts and expand on them. One of the reasons why I am writing all of this is also because these streams of thoughts that come, often help me find clarity in my goals, objectives, and dreams. I really write to help myself 🤣😂🤗 ha-ha but share in hope it helps you too.

Until next time,

Enjoy the weather while it is beautiful and lockdown coming to an end.

I want to learn at least one new tricking move that I do not know this summer. Going to go do that. Looking to learn aerial or 540 tornado kick.