The Final Conversation With the Speechless Boy- A Disability Story

Noor has departed from this world. He shines on in the next. The last 6 months had been difficult because his health kept deteriorating.

Due to other ventures my visits also turned less frequent. It gave me a lot of joy at the fact that he used to smile often when he heard my voice.

I was there to see him on his last day. I had a strong feeling that it was his last few hours remaining. I felt a strong presence of light all around him. Angels were waiting for the moment to wrap his soul with the martyr’s robes. He was a warrior to the end.

His soul rests ever untainted, his resurrection too will signify purity. A sound heart!

What was my last conversation with Noor about? I reminded him that these were the best 10 days and the final month of the year, Dhul hijjah. His desire to reject eating and drinking signified his will to fast these last days of his life. His desire? It would be rather proper to say his forbearance.

Our last conversation were prayers. I prayed for him and I hoped that he did for me. He was silent through out it all. But I knew he could hear me. Why was I the last person besides his family to be with him in his last moments? I don’t know the answer to this. Why was it that his last moments were written on the day that I visited him? I am still pondering over the time I spent with him, caring for him.

What lessons were there to learn for me? What was he trying to teach me? He tried his best to elevate me. I hope that some of those experiences go on to stay with me. Looking after him was like feeding my soul, guiding it. Now he is no more, and my ravenous soul may dry up. I am seeking an anchor to keep my soul centred. I am seeking light. It is easy to wander in darkness, it takes courage to be the warrior of light.

His body looked at peace in shrouds. A sort of smile on his face. It reminded me of these verses:

يا ايتهاالنفس المطمئنة. ارجعى إلى ربك راضية مرضية. فادخلي في عبدي. وادخلي جنتي.

On the Duality of Life

Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep goingNo feeling is final Ranier Maria Rilke Regardless of who we are or where we are born, we cannot escape one of the most inevitable experiences in life, the certainty of suffering. While we desperately try to find stability, we soon realize the inherent state…

On the Duality of Life

Been a while…

I remembered to come back here because I  spoke about it (The Blog) to someone earlier. It sent me a reminder that I write.

There’s a lot going on in life at the moment, so I have not been as consistent on here. Rest assured, life is moving forwards in a good direction. I can never say that I control the helm, however, the wind is currently favourable.

So much has happened and I am excited! Looking forward to do a list of things that have been in my bucket list. Go a bit crazy haha…despite a gloomy global outlook. One that is worrisome! Of course, the threat of nuclear war is a big worry. But I don’t know whether it’s going to happen or not, just like the uncertainty that I have dealt with most of my life.

Oh, that made me worry! It caused a lot of stress, stress that turned chronic. I was holding on to so much, not knowing how to let go.

Fortunately, there were many blessings along the hardships and many lessons learnt from the hardships. I wish I could say that I am wiser but I cannot. The most I can say perhaps is that, I am wiser compared to who I was. I am content and happy knowing this. After all, this is all I preach right!

Strive to be better than who you were yesterday!

Been a while… but I am grateful for the many blessings. It’s been a while… I am kind of mulling over what I should write about.

I know I said that I would write about geopolitics if things turned sour for Nord Stream 2 (NS2) and other causes of energy security concerns. The topic is too political and contentious for my liking at the moment. Maybe I will post facts regarding energy security concerns and the transition to renewables.

Or maybe I should just write out what I think because this blog has mostly been  a place for me to dump my thoughts.

You see time doesn’t stop for anyone. I speak from the perspective of time in this blog (https://macropassions.wordpress.com/2021/09/08/thoughts-about-running/https://macropassions.wordpress.com/2021/09/08/thoughts-about-running/ Thoughts about running! A Timeless Story)

Time is limited for us in this world. The conditions today are such that the variance is high, some have more time on earth than others because of wars. Others have more free time, and most are enslaved, tied down that they fail to even realise that they are never free.

Freedom! A word that can mean different things to different people. Free speech, freedom to live how you want to, freedom to travel, freedom to choose between right and wrong. The list goes on and on….

Definitely been a while… I am back to being my usual self, spontaneous, jumping from thought to thought. I prefer this way of blurting out my mind. Often quietly, turning thoughts into words on here. Like waving a wand and writing out what I want.

Writing is a form of Meditation for me. It’s a form of therapy. It helps me shed my thoughts to calm my mind. Then when I take a deep breath, I find that I am here in the now, in this moment, in the present moment.

A final reminder: We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.

Knowing this helps me remain humble and adopt a mindset of a student. Taking it step at a time. Although I have bad habits of trying to get ahead of myself, but having a process and holding myself accountable can minimise those bad habits.