Still Searching

Standing in front of the mirror, in search of a different me. How is it that I can see myself, but cannot see my thoughts. The very thoughts that remain buried in the depths, it’s a struggle to scream them out! In the mirror, I see many faults. I see some good in me too.
Standing at the door, I step outside in search of a different me. How is it that I feel caged inside the four walls, but cannot escape those thoughts. The very thoughts that remain buried in the depths, it’s a struggle to scream them out! Standing at the door, I see the cage I am in, I see open scenery in front of me too.
Standing on the road, I start to walk in search of a different me. How is it that I walk with no destination in sight. I hear a call, “To Me you belong, To Me you shall return.”

Sometimes I write to release stress but also, to see what I have written as I read it back because in that moment, I am able to connect the ideas and writing with my thought patterns, my weaknesses, and see where I can influence a change. These spontaneous yet, linked thoughts help me a tiny bit to see things in myself that a mirror doesn’t show me. Writing is a form of therapy for me. Better written out than buried in my head. It doesn’t matter how it sounds so long as it helps.

Resilience

I have not written a blog for a while. Mostly because a lot has been going on in my personal life.

Today as I write this, I want to re-imagine resilience.

Life is such that there will be sharp corners which are hard to maneuver. It’s like I have been driving a race car but I never stopped at the pit stop to service it. Therefore the drag, the friction and the accumulated wear that has piled onto the car is making it difficult to keep traction on the road. Add to that, force experienced sitting on the driving seat.

What do I take away from this? It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to stop at a service station. Just like a race car, our body experiences accumulated stress that can really take a toll when it triggers. What do you do to address this accumulated stress?

When things are really difficult, this is also a good practice that works well for me. What do you not do when things are really difficult? What can you do to slow down to be grateful for the journey so far. This is easier said than done, when it is difficult to let go of the past. Or there are experiences and mistakes from the past, that continue to impact your present.

Believe it or not, writing is a medium for me to stay in the present. It’s hard to turn off the past, when things are difficult. So, I give myself reasons why I should continue to forge on. I give myself reasons why I shouldn’t give up? It’s not that I make up these reasons, these reasons are simply a list of my faults and virtues in the present moment. I list all my virtues and faults that I have or that I think I have. It’s not an easy task to see the goodness within yourself when things are difficult. So, I start with faults and then list out the virtues. The way my mind works, helps me to complete an exercise or task once I start on it. So, I start with the difficult things. This is true in many other aspects too where I always try learn the more difficult stuff first and then fall back onto basics once I realise that I am not at the level required to be learning the advanced stuff. It’s a bad habit of mine I guess. A result of high expectations and ambitions, that result in disappointment and failure and a self-created emotional roller coaster.

Back to the topic of resilience, when things are so difficult, what other things help me? From my experiences, exercise of any sort is one of the best things that can help stay in the present, along with meditation and healthy eating.

What if you can’t afford to eat healthy? This will impact your exercise routine too. I am thinking of this because despite there being so much abundance of resources, many people experience scarcity on a daily basis.

A scarcity mindset only adds to the accumulated stress and the view one takes of different life experiences whether in the present, past or unfolding future events. What can you do to combat this mindset? For different people there will be different ways. I say this, because we all have our belief systems wired into us. You can leverage these belief systems to your advantage if you understand your own system. Or rewire those belief systems, if you think your current ones are rooted in scarcity and a fixed mindset that doesn’t accept changes easily.

With this continuing pandemic, and the many around the world that are suffering under oppression. I hope that you read this and think it, mull it over if you ever come to a point of no return. When you feel so hopeless and much despair that the only thing you think of is, how not to exist!

According to what I believe and many monotheistic religions and other religions will likely share a similar view. Death is inevitable. If there is certainty of one thing, it is death. I also believe that death is predestined. This is a sensitive topic as I can think of a counter argument for it too. But let me write it out, why kill yourself? If you believe that you would die regardless, at your appointed time and place? One could argue that it was predestined perhaps for one to kill themselves. But if you believe that, you forfeit the choice that you have been granted. Your forfeit your freewill. You choose to give up and not make a harder choice which is to live on. True resilience in this situation will be to have patience, perseverance to continue through the midst of storm, thunder and the burdens of life.

True meaning of life is found in responsibilities, purpose, striving to achieve one’s goals.

So, in summary, resilience means to continue forward even when you are experiencing a lot of drag, other forces hindering you. When you experience this, it should only increase your faith, that you were born for a purpose and reason. You were born to achieve great things. Let the journey unfold because life is abundant. It may not seem so in the moment but, I promise you, good days will come, if you continue stepping forward. Push past your pain. Baby steps will do, you can’t fly with broken wings. Not yet!

ps. Writing helps me live in the present. It’s one of the mediums. Gosh! I missed writing. Although, since introducing this new habit a few years back, I have been writing in various other places. This blog has its own special place.

What does resilience mean to you? Share your thoughts.

I have learnt a lot from these books

So as promised, I have been wanting to share my booklist. In this booklist, I will share the books that have helped me with psychology and self-development. I don’t read 52 books a year like an average CEO, but I do think I read quite a lot for my lifestyle. I listen more than I read. By the way, if you are a blog reader, I talk about a lot of different books in my blogs too…you just have to be willing to read and find the diamonds among the pile of treasure 😉 haha… am not for self-praise but you see what I done there 😀

Anyhow, if you want to grow, develop your character, learn more about yourself, your business, or even just reflect on life and understand the world through different perspectives. I would recommend checking out these books. These are my top favourites in psychology/ self-development genre not in any particular order though.

  1. The Examined Life ( How we lose and find ourselves) by Stephen Grosz
  2. The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters
  3. Option B By Sheryl Sandberg and Adam Grant (I am a big fan of Adam Grant’s work)
  4. Give and Take by Adam Grant (You see what I mean lol)
  5. Originals by Adam Grant ( on my wish list is his latest book Think Again)
  6. Can’t Hurt Me by David Goggins
  7. Principles by Ray Dalio
  8. Atomic Habits by James Clear
  9. Deep Work by Cal Newport
  10. Focus by Daniel Goleman ( I am a big fan of Daniel Goleman’s work on EQ)
  11. Primal Leadership by Daniel Goleman
  12. Maximum Willpower by Kelly McGonigal
  13. The Crowd Study of the Popular mind By Gustave Le Bon
  14. How to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie
  15. A Hero with a Thousand Faces (Joseph Campbell) I know this is philosophy genre, but there is lots to learn from this book.
  16. Thus Spoke Zarathustra by Friedrich Nietzsche
  17. Beyond Good and Evil by Friedrich Nietzsche
  18. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy by Jason M. Satterfield
  19. Thinking Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman ( This is a classic)
  20. Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza
  21. 12 Rules for Life by Jordan B Peterson
  22. Maps of Meaning by Jordan B Peterson

Instead of including any external links, I will let you search for these books. Most are available on Amazon, Audible, Waterstones or any other book store. I have some of the above books in hard copy and some in audible version. Basically the easiest way to get them in possession ahaha. Nietzsche is quite difficult to comprehend but there is value there to be found if you keep an open mind. They say there is a thin line between insanity and a genius mind. Wow… these are just some of the books I have read since 2018. Before that I used to read fiction only.

I stopped reading fiction for a while, but I still do from time to time. Maybe next time I will share some of my favourite fictional novels.

While you are here, check out my previous post on How to read a book! 📖